Review #3 -- Christian's Tailgate

I take my reviewing seriously. It's like a job, except the only pay I get is the satisfaction of knowing which burgers in town are worth eating. That's why I insisted on having Christian's Tailgate 5 times before writing this review (that and I was too busy at work to get to it). I honestly wasn't sure what rating to give it after the first time or two, but more on that later. Get ready, this is going to be a lengthy review.

Christian's Tailgate used to be called Christian's Totem according to my research. It was voted the best burger in Houston by citysearch and the Houston Press more times than not. According to the menu (and their website, see http://www.christianstailgate.com), Playboy Magazine listed Christian's Tailgate as one of the top 10 burgers in the entire US. I don't read Playboy, so I'll have to take the menu's word for it.

With these accolades, you would assume that the trip to Christian's was doomed to be a huge disappointment as it couldn't possibly live up to my then lofty expectations. With that assumption, you would be wrong.

First off, to clarify, there are two Christian's Tailgate locations -- the original on Washington and I-10 right by Denny's and then one in Midtown, which is more of a bar. My experience indicates the burger was identical at both, so I won't bifurcate this review. Instead, I'll just focus primarily on the Washington location, which I've visited 4 times over the past few weeks. Unsurprisingly, I forgot to take a picture of it each and every time I visited, so for now I'll steal this picture from Texas Burger Guy's blog:



The restaurant itself looks like an old double-wide trailer. It has a pungent aroma that isn't exactly pleasant. The lighting is what I'd expect from a run-down bar. Yet, 3 of the 4 times I went I had to wait in line for over 15 minutes. That's the sign of an awesome burger. You order at the counter, and then take a seat while you wait for them to call your name. I've seen comments around the internet that call the people who work the register "burger nazis", but I've had nothing but good experiences with them.

Regardless, you're reading because you want to know about the burger. Here's a picture of one (that I actually took myself!):



Christian's (like the previous two places I reviewed) does not freeze their meat, and you can tell by the texture and taste. The burgers have almost a silky/buttery smooth taste to them. It's tough to describe to someone who hasn't been, but it's almost as it if the meat melts in your mouth while you chew it. The flavor is outstanding -- both the meat and the bun have a quality "meat" taste without unnecessary seasonings. I ordered the 1/3 pounder, and trust me when I say it was plenty big. For some reason, it's substantially bigger than, say, Fuddrucker's 1/3 pounder. I can't imagine how someone could eat the entire 1/2 pound burger, much less the DOUBLE patty burger they offer. Even the 1/3 pound burger is a two-handed burger...don't try eating that guy with one hand. Even more astounding is that it's only $7.57 for a 1/3 pound combo that includes fries and a drink.

I've also tried the queso, the deep fried bacon, and the french fries. The queso is probably below average, but is edible. The deep fried bacon isn't as good as you'd expect. The french fries aren't quite average either. But none of that matters when the burger is as close to perfection on a bun as I've found so far in Houston.

Before I give my rating, I'll share ratings from a few people that joined me on these various trips (I'll give initials for their privacy):

KC (the only girl of the group to go with me), my trusty Burger Quest accomplice: "It's really good, but not as good as Five Guys."

JL: "This is definitely the best burger I've ever eaten at a restaurant anywhere. I've eaten better at home, but this is close."

TM: "This is the best burger I've had in Houston."

TP: "This is the best burger I've ever eaten."

As you can see, aside from KC, everyone loved it. I'm somewhere between KC and the guys saying the burger is the best ever. I've been torn for weeks on whether to rate Christian's Tailgate an 8, a 9, or even a 10. Ultimately, I think I've decided on 9, as it's not quite as good as In-N-Out with "quite" being the operable word there. Christian's is lucky, however, that I don't take the quality of the fries into account in my ratings.

EDIT on May 8, 2010:

After visiting several other Burger Quest locations, I've decided that Christian's needs to be downgraded just a bit. I'm revising this rating to make the rating consistent with recent burger quests.

Christian's Tailgate final rating -- 8.