Review #2 -- Tornado Burger

The setting: Easter Sunday, 2010. After Burger Shack's failure to impress me, I decided to try Tornado Burger. My expectations were high for Tornado burger after reading rave reviews from city-data.com forums and the Houston Chronicle. In fact, the writer for the Chronicle went as far as to say Tornado burger tasted *just like* In-N-Out.

After a long drive to the middle of nowhere (otherwise known as outside of the Beltway), I arrived at a modest looking building that shared a parking lot with a large church. To be fair, the church was in what looked to be an abandoned Walmart building.



I stole that picture from the Houston Chronicle review by Robb Walsh. Apologies in advance to that reviewer. As I said in the post below, this was in the pre-acknowledgement days of the epic Burger Quest.

Anyway, much to my dismay, the guy at the counter told me they soak their burgers in worcestershire sauce before cooking them. I reluctantly braved the road ahead relying on Robb Walsh's promise that it tasted like In-N-Out. I probably don't need to tell you this, but Robb Walsh lied.

Here's what I will give Tornado Burger: it looks like In-N-Out. The patties are slender, and I was almost convinced I was looking at an In-N-Out burger because the thickness of the Double Meat burger was almost identical and they use the same ketchup containers as In-N-Out. The bun seemed fresh, and I did believe their claim that the meat was never frozen. The following picture is also taken from the Houston Chronicle review:



That's where the similarities to In-N-Out end. One bite of this burger (which subsequently ended up in a napkin) was all it took to convince me to throw my meal away and drive (quickly) to Fogo De Chao for their special Easter Sunday lunch. As an aside, their fries are seasoned heavily. I wasn't a fan at all, but I can see how some people would be.

I'm pretty convinced that Tornado Burger is In-N-Out's dark side of the force. It shares the same look as In-N-Out, but it's as if In-N-Out took everything that was good and holy about the look and left all the negative qualities to Tornado Burger. In-N-Out is the perfect 10, whereas Tornado Burger is the perfect 1. On the one hand, I was annoyed at driving so far to taste the worst hamburger I could imagine. On the other hand, I was relieved that now my scale has examples at each end because, let's face it, at least McDonald's and the other potential 1's are at least edible.

On the way to Fogo, I was left with a couple philosophical questions to ponder about my trip to Tornado Burger. Does Tornado Burger prove that for every true good in the world there must be a corresponding evil? Was I being punished for spending Easter Lunch alone in Houston rather than celebrating with family?

Regardless, the final rating of Tornado Burger was the first clear "1" in Burger Quest. However, little did I know that on the horizon was the best burger in Houston so far...

If you want to experience burger misery yourself, you can find Tornado Burger at 505 Murphy Road, Stafford, TX 77477-5417.

Final Tornado Burger taste rating -- 1.